ALRIGHT ASTROS!!!!

Call me a fair-weather fan, but suddenly I feel emotionally attached to the Astros, even though I haven't cheered for them since I was in college. But I have come to realize they still occupy a special place in my heart. I grew up on JR Richard and Nolan Ryan in the early 8os. I brought my Walkman to high school my freshman year so I could follow their series against the Mets.

But my favorite Astros memories are confined to a minimum wage job I had before my senior of high school. I worked the dinner shift at a salad bar, Souper Salads, that year. I don't know what the official title of my job was, but I was basically the guy who made sure all the salad bar and soup bar items were topped off.

My esteemed associate at Souper Salads was Richard, a long-haired, pot smoking dish washer, and a crazed Astros fan. Our conversations all summer were limited to the following eight talking points:

1. Did I have any pot?
2. Last night's Astros' game.
3. The current Astros' game on the radio.
4. Why I didn't smoke pot.
5. The liklihood that I might have some pot to give to Richard, even though I didn't smoke pot.
6. What Richard was doing when he watched last night's game. This story usually ended with him shouting "Alright Astros!!"
7. The merits of smoking pot.
8. How smoking pot with Richard could make me a better runner.

At this point in time I still liked the Astros, but was more of a Rangers fan since that was who Nolan Ryan was pitching for. But I was satisfied with talking points 1-8 with Richard and didn't feel we needed talking point #9, "Why the Astros are better than the Rangers." So I passed as a die-hard Astros fan.

One night I was re-stocking the salad bar with some vegetable or another. The Astros were far from first place but locked in a close game with some random National League opponent. It was near closing time so there were maybe three tables with customers.

All of a sudden the ten of us in the dining area could hear someone shout "ALRIGHT ASTROS!" This was followed by the classic restaurant sound of procelain plates hitting a tile floor. A lot of them. It was the sound of a tall stack of dirty dishes hitting the floor after being knocked over by an animated dish washer.

Then it was very quiet for a few seconds. Awkwardly so.

The silence and tension was broken from the kitchen when we all heard Richard shout "ALRIGHT ASTROS!!" one more time. When I finally made it back to the kitchen he let me know that the Astros had indeed scored a go-ahead run.

And this is one of the many reasons the Astros have a special place in my heart.

I returned to Souper Salads the following summer and Richard was still there. Well at least in body. He had turned his life over to the Lord. He wore t-shirts that said "Property of Jesus Christ." He no longer bullshitted with me. He had given up the argument that pot would make the "fastest fucking runner ever man."

Instead he tried to convince me to go to church with him, and told me "the Bible predicted AIDS man." And the Astros were no longer on the radio. Instead I was treated to Christian rock every time I went back to the kitchen.

Souper Salads was never the same again. And since that time I have been a Red Sox fan, Cardinals fan, and now have settled down as a die-hard Twins fan. But when I think back to that meaningless $3.35/hr job I had at Souper Salads, before the Lord crushed Richard's soul, I am a born-again Astros fan.

Debbie Downer

A woman was raped at 9 a.m. last Monday in or near the Minnehaha dog park, about three miles from our house. It goes without saying that this pisses me off. I am posting an e-mail from a friend of mine who I go running with. I am including all the information just to alert those of you who use the trails near our house to be extra carfeful.

I just received this information about the incident. Since so many of us run in that area, perhaps we can be on the lookout for this individual.

Facts:
Minneapolis police are investigating the attack of a woman Monday morning, Oct. 17, who was riding her bike in the Minnehaha Falls off-leash dog park. The suspect approached the victim with a gun and sexually assaulted her.

Suspect information:

The suspect is described as a white male, 35-40 years old, six feet tall and 35 to 40 years of age. He has a heavy/muscular build, shaggy dark hair, and no facial hair. His eyes are described as closetogether, and he has heavy jowls and a thick neck. He was wearing a dark blue, zippered, jogging-style jacket, white tennis shoes and dark cloth pants. The suspect may have used a bike that possibly was red and silver.

If you have information about the incident, please contact Sgt. Nancy Dunlap, 612- 673-3782, or the MPD Sex Crimes Office, 612-673-3657.

Some obvious things jump out at me when I think about what happened. First of all is how angry this makes me. Secondly, we should all be extra careful. Even though I probably don't have too much to worry about, this incident has made me stop wearing headphones when I run. We should all do this because it does not only make things more safe for ourselves, but also so wee can hear if someone else is yelling for help.

These are obvious points to everyone, and for some reason my final point isn't. What strikes is that this woman was on her bike. Until this happened I always assumed a woman is not vulnerable if she is on a bike. She can bike away from all danger, right? Not when the asshole has a gun. I would love to hear from some NRA types and know how they can justify conceal and carry over strict gun control laws. Using their logic, the solution to the current problem is for all women to go running and biking with guns. Here's a better idea, with or without gun control laws: it is time for the park police to increase their presence along the parks that abut the Mississippi River.

Yet Another Sports Post

I will add this post to the burgeoning canon of on-line opinions about the nutty ending to last night's White Sox/Angels game. Aside from the fact that I think the Angels got robbed on that one call, I have some other thoughts.

1. The Angels were affected by the umpires, but they lost that game on their own. The umpires put a runner on first with two outs, but that is it. Sure it meant Angels' pitcher Melvim Escobar had to pitch four outs that inning, but it was Escobar who continued to pitch from the stretch with a man on first. And it was Escobar who left that 0-2 pitch over the plate for Crede to hit.

Holding the umpires responisble for a blown call is fair game, but to pin this loss on them is not too far removed from blaming the Cubbies' demise a few years back on that fan who tried to catch a foul ball.

2. I am so glad I am not a fan of either team. I'd be so very pissed if I were an Angels fan and feeling pretty sheepish as White Sox fans.

3. Last year it was David Ortiz. This year it's A.J. Pierzynski. It is hard as a Twins fans to watch these ex-Twinkies play huge roles in their teams' playoff success. A.J. is having a great playoff run, with or without the umps blown call.

Of the remaining four teams, I'd love to see the Astros or Cards win. GO NL!!!

San Diego Steelers

Did anyone watch tonight's (Monday) Steelers vs. Chargers football game. Why were there so many die hard, vocal Steelers fans watching?

It reminds me of when the Spurs sucked back in the 80s and it would seem like there were just as many fair-weather Laker fans cheering as loyal Spurs fans. I wonder if those jackasses who cheered for the Lakers over the hometeam are still doing the same these days.

Who Wants To Be An MVP?

A Rod just hit into a double-play with a runner on, in an elimination game, in the top of the ninth, with his team down by two runs. He has done nothing the entire post-season. I'm not ripping on the guy. He'd get my vote for MVP. It just goes to show how meaningless the MVP award is.

I have never understood why the regular season MVP gets so much attention. The only other MVP candidate, ex-Twin David Ortiz, playss for a team that was eliminated from the playofffs last week.

The Red Sox and Yankees can have their MVPs. I'm pretty sure the White Sox and Angels will gladly pass up that award for a World Series ring.

The Pride of Urbana, IL...

...was born 34 years ago today.

Ever since I was a little kid, I was always rowdy and loud.
Now here I am, thirty-four, still runnin' 'round with the wrong crowd.

-Ray Wylie Hubbard

I spent my 34th birthday cleaning the garage with Emily and mowing the lawn with my dog Pancho watching. Not exactly running with the wrong crowd. But that's okay. I have 364 more days to find a few bad eggs to get rowdy and loud with.